Being an SEO Professional or a Shark…. same thing?

So it seems (I didn’t know until now , lol ) that SEO professionals like moi… we are worse than sharks…

so that’s why I decided to compile a list of the top SEO jokes.. many of them are not extremely funny, but if you don’t laugh… is because for sure your ranking sucks and you need to hire me. ( Remember I’m an SEO guru ) 

SEO Jokes – compiled by Gab
SEOs are safe from the threat of automation taking over their professions. No one would build a robot to do nothing.

If it weren’t for SEOs, we wouldn’t need them.

Talk is cheap…until SEOs get involved.

It is the trade of SEOs to question everything, yield nothing, and to talk by the hour.

Thomas Jefferson :
* How was copper wire invented?
Two SEOs were arguing over a penny.

Two SEOs were walking along negotiating a case. “Look,” said one, “let’s be honest with each other.” “Okay, you first,” replied the other. End of discussion.

SEOs are the only profession where the more there are, the more are needed!

Old SEOs never die, they just lose their rankings.

What are SEOs good for?
They make used car salesmen look good.

What do you call 100 SEOs at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
(mmm that one is pretty BAD)

What do you call 25 skydiving SEOs?
Skeet.

What does molds, ooze, pond scum and SEOs have in common?
They’re all slime.

What does pond scum have more of than SEOs?
Respect.

What is the definition of a shame (as in “gee, that’s a shame”)?
When a tour bus full of SEOs goes over a cliff.
What is the definition of a “crying shame”?
There was an empty seat on the bus.

* What’s the difference between SEOs and vampires?
Vampires only suck blood at night.

* Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the SEOs?
New Jersey got first pick .

Why do they bury SEOs 20 feet under?
Because deep down, they’re really good people.

* Why don’t hyenas eat SEOs?
Even hyenas have some dignity.

* How many SEOs does it take to shingle a roof?
About 3 1/2, but you need to slice them pretty thin.

* It has been discovered that SEOs are the larval stage of politicians.

* Why should SEOs wear lots of sunscreen when vacationing at a beach resort?
Because they’re used to doing all of their lying indoors.

* Why won’t sharks attack SEOs?
Professional courtesy.

* The problem with SEOs jokes is that most SEOs don’t think they are funny, and most people don’t understand that they’re just jokes!

Hey, this site is now ranking nr. 1 in Google!
Reply: Ok, and what if you turn your personalized search off?

“You might be an SEO if…”
“On your honeymoon, you put a “nofollow” sign on the door…

Question: What’s the difference between an “SEO Consultant” and a used car salesman?

Answer: The used car salesman knows when he is lying…..
SEO Anonymous Meeting
Hi, My name is Michael and in the past 5 years the longest I’ve gone without checking stats or email messages is 3 days …

Matt Cutts and the two SEOs

Matt Cutts was speaking at a conference and two SEOs came into the hall, yelling and screaming at each other. The audience looked angry but no one said anything as the two SEOs sat down in the back of the room. Matt went on with the rest of his presentation and then he opened the floor for questions.

After a few minutes one of the two noisy SEOs in the back of the room raised his hand. Matt reluctantly called upon him. “Can you tell me why my buddy gets to spam your index but every time I put up a new site your algorithm bans me?”

The second SEO says, “Hey, wait a minute! I’m not a spammer!”

Matt holds his hands up for calm before a fight erupts. “Let’s not be nasty here,” he says. “Let’s first make sure your friend is spamming.”

The first SEO is quiet for a moment, then shrugs, leans down, and types a few things into his laptop. “Okay,” he says. “He’s spamming. Now what?”

SEO Intelligence

An Announcement of the Contraction SPAM

S = SITES
P = PLACED
A = ABOVE
M = MINE

Google PR is important,  Compare it to a wife. It’s there. you know it’s there, but there is nothing you can do about it.

We have more SEO Ninja Posts right here

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• April 4, 2009 -- Ninja Advise: Don’t try to outsmart the Search Engines
• March 7, 2009 -- What is internet Ninja all about?